girl at 40

Drama

Science fair drama-same thing happened last. My poor girl gets so worked up she can't function. Wonder where she got that?

I heart chocolate

Now i have more than one thing to RECOMMIT to. This blog and my eating habits. Too bad this thing isn't slathered in delicious chocolate, i would be here every day.

One smart procrastinator

Over the last few days, i keep thinking "i should put that on my blog". did i do it? obviously not. i read yesterday that the brightest people are the worst procrastinators. I have decided that is me.

Had a big snow day(s) this weekend. It started to snow on Friday afternoon and kept going throughout the day on Saturday -- probably 6" or so in total. it was so pretty and the girls loved it. we sledded, played in it, etc. lots of fun.

Olivia told me she "had a tough day" today -- then started giggling non-stop. She is such a funny girl.

I am struggling with eating (again) -- just junk, junk, junk. My biggest problem is chocolate. i am just eating out of boredom, which isn't good. I need to ramp up my talking to myself. I work out too much/too hard to waste my effort. i am cancelling out all that effort. I know i can do it and i feel so much better when i just eat well. I need to just get all the crap out of the house and be done with it. If it isn't there, i don't eat it (well, sometimes i do go to the store for junk). no more brownies (or batter), no more diet cokes (even caffeine free), etc. i can eat chocolate, but need to just limit to my low-cal snacks, which are just as good. watching the biggest loser right now (with the sound off, can't stand the whining) so must be feeling large. i really, really, really want to wear a bathing suit and not be embarrassed this summer. My upper bod is looking great, just that genetic lower bod that isn't so impressive. will try to recommit.

on another, totally unrelated note, i have two job opps i am looking at interally. one is the SE marketing leader (my good friend Alain is the deputy and front-runner), the other is industry marketing leader. I am tending to want the latter because i can continue to be flexible in location, which i like. Both are director-eligible, which is a plus. i would not have any marketing leaders reporting to me with the industry job, since i am not a director yet. that would be the main disconnect. However, i would retain my TMT leader role for now, if i take on that role. Would relinquish my india role -- have mixed feelings about that. we'll see.

Bootless

The boot is off! Yahoo! Madeline's toe is finally healed, thank goodness. she was a happy clam. We celebrated at Panera with lunch, her choice. David met us there, which was fun.

started mid-year reviews today, delivered the not-so-happy message to one of my new team members that he had lots of work to do if he wanted to be promoted. I think he was shocked when i told him i was the final decision maker. sorry, buddy.

the worst cook

Spent the weekend in Nashville at Madeline's first v-ball tournament. It was great except for that fact that she didn't even play due to her injured TOE. Hoping that boot comes off this week. Stayed with Joey & Kristina McCloskey (and Anna) -- it was fun, as always. Even with their focus on church and spirituality (that i don't really understand/appreciate), they are still our old friends. Anna and the girls get along well, except when they are arguing over who gets to be in charge.

I have gained some weight since Christmas -- my jeans are ridiculously tight. So, recommitted to eating better and tracking everything that goes in my mouth. this is so hard to do, but going to try. i hate tight jeans, i get grumpy all day and i am not willing to wear looser clothes. problem is they are so tight i don't even want to eat, which screws with my metabolism.

Olivia made me a little picture/message that said something like "you are the worst cook, but i love you anyway" -- nice. she is so darn picky and won't try anything new. i really don't like to cook at all, but i am trying. i keep thinking a cute little tv in the kitchen would help!

hard week at work this week, time for mid-year reviews. feel an obligation to really tell folks the truth about what they need to focus on. no more unicorns and rainbows -- i know these people can do the work, the tactical stuff, it's the soft things that they aren't good at. so, we'll see how it goes. i'm not too popular right now.

making reservations to talk Madeline to NYC in March for her birthday (over spring break) -- she doesn't want my mom to go with us (she is going) because she wants it to be just the two of us. hopefully, she will get over this. Not sure why, but she is all weepy about it.

whew

More gay fun

And so the gay conversation continues. Tonight Madeline asked me if two women are gay, does that mean they both have babies? Or something like that. My response was NOT GOOD -- you have to have a man and a woman to have a baby. WHY? Oh, hell. Not a good move. So i said "i will explain it later when we have more time." Now what?

So very gay

Spent the day in atlanta-nobody there so not fin at all. Bunch of people I don't know in the office. Guess everybody is doing the work-at-home thing. Had the gay talk with Madeline tonight - she said some kids at school were talking about the new judge on American idol (Ellen degeneres) and that she was gay. I confirmed that it was true and attempted to explain. Told her everybody was diff and that was fine with me. Decided not to mention that several of her gave teachers like the girls too ! Having a problem controlling my eating and my jeans are getting tight. Have to stop justifying huge portions of peanut butter. Can feel the slide towards cheese enchiladas. Have to get control and drink more water. Doesn't take much for me to lose control. WTF!

Not cool

In organizing my recipes, came across cake recipe from Mama Byrd called "better than sex" - that is so not right.

Slacker

Have been a total slacker. Have already managed to not post for several days -- I knew this would happen, so not surprised. This is so typical for me; i put out these big goals and then beat myself up for messing them up. So instead i will just commit to posting regularly. It will still be interesting, right?

Here is a 2 minute recap of the past few days -- Madeline got carpet burn on her face during a "team building" exercise with her volleyball team; continuing to do major spring cleaning in the winter and making lots of progress; turned in our money jar for $200 and gave each girl half -- olivia immediately wanted to get an iPod Touch with hers (plus her savings); trying to get madeline to save hers for trip to NYC in March for her 10th b'day (i think she is going for it); had sleepover friends -- it was loud and giggly; MLK day on Monday; now in Atlanta for a meeting tomorrow and just watched The Hangover which is absolutely hilarious (and so very wrong).

had a very hard workout today -- did 30 full pushups on the bosu plus 10 single leg pushups (on the bosu). OUCH

Not cool

In organizing my recipes, came across cake recipe from Mama Byrd called "better than sex" - that is so not right.

Funny girl

Olivia told me today that her pal in her class is "so emotional" -- i could not stop laughing. What 7 year old says that? I was cleaning out (off?) her bookcase today and she had several notebooks that she had written in -- most of what she had written revolved around Madeline and how "anoyig" she is. That she is a "terbl" sister. Too funny.

I am trying to get my recipes organized -- not sure why since i don't particularly like to cook. I think it might be odd that i have more brownie recipes than any other type. i do love brownies! I told Madeline that we would try, maybe once a week, to cook something new together. Trying to expand our repertoire. . .

Who cares?

Trying to watch the Biggest Loser because my trainer always talks about it, wanted to know what the big deal was BUT they have broken in with the big news that Lane Kiffin is leaving U TN to go to USC after only a year. Not important to this non-Vols fan.

My first of the year fever is still going strong -- organized all our DVDs tonight. Started getting all recipes in place, and cleaned some serious closets this weekend. Maybe i will get enough done before i burn out. Of course, if i burn out before i take down our Christmas decor, i'm in trouble.

Funny thing that Madeline said -- she told me to never leave her with Nana and Poppa again -- "they argue ALL THE TIME" she says. They don't even realize it anymore -- I told Mom what she said, i think she was a little surprised. From the mouths of babes, right?

Olivia sang several songs from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang tonight, lyrics on the DVD insert. She added some of her own snazzy dance moves. . .

I ordered some wine from Black Stallion Winery in Napa while on our trip to San Fran the week after Christmas -- it showed up today, one bottle had the cork popped, apparently it froze. Good news is that they are sending another one. Funny thing is that it has a UPS label on it that says "do not deliver to anyone under 21" and "do not deliver if person is intoxicated". how funny is that? NO DELIVERIES TO THE DRUNK PEOPLE . . . 

Money honey

Confession today -- i suck at money management. There, i said it. I really do. We pay our bills but we could do so much better. No excuses that we can't. So, I am going to commit to doing a better job in 2010 and building that oh-so-elusive "emergency fund".

let's see how it goes